The look of Humanity

I’m inspired! What does that even mean? Has someone else’s energy overridden my own? Did I need it or was I drawn to it? Did I ask for it or does my soul crave it? I’m not sure but it’s so comforting when it happens. I am constantly inspired by one person. One person who seemingly is an inspiration to herself. To all around her. How can I be like that? So energized and positive. Sometimes I feel dark and alone and then there she is with a glow that lights even the darkest of rooms in my mind. What do I do with this inspiration? Is there a reason that I feel it so strongly or does she affect everyone equally? And what do I do with this gift she has given me? If I don’t pay it forward am I being selfish? Of course I would be but don’t I deserve to be selfish sometimes? My dad would say no. My mom would say no. I know what I am supposed to do but it’s so hard. But I know that if I don’t, eventually I will draw all of her light away and she will have nothing more to offer me. Wait but that sounds selfish. Is it really all about me? Inspiration. What is it really? I mean if it was always in us why must we need an exterior kick starter? What is blocking our own minds from helping ourselves? Why is being an adult and making decisions such a task alone? More importantly why am I curious on the thing that frees me from my prison of feeling alone in my decision making? The thing that drives me to be better than yesterday. To be inspired. To inspire. Isn’t that goal that we all chase? I do. I want to give back to those that have inspired me when I was in that dark room in my mind. And to her. I want to help her when she is dark but no one sees because her light is so bright. What does it mean? It means to see past yourself into the soul of others. To see the good that their spirit carries. The good that it craves. The good that can come from simply a positive word. A gesture. A look. To be inspired. To be an inspiration. I’m not really sure what it means but somehow it’s always been there. Inside of me. Inside of you. Inside of us all. It’s the one thing that defines our humanity. Always try to shine for one day you too will need the light of another.

Advertisements